How to Waste Time in an Airport

On my flight over from Boston to London, I had the thing happen that makes every traveler’s worst nightmare scenario: you are sitting in the plane and they announce an indefinite delay.

The reason for this delay was a “maintenance problem” (the antenna on top of the plane, which I believe is called the falange, wasn’t working?) but this brings up several questions. Why didn’t they figure that out before I had already sat down and powered down my electronics? Why did they spend an hour “feverishly searching” (their words, not mine) the airport to try to find a replacement? Shouldn’t they have a specified place where they keep things like this, like normal people? Eventually it transpired they have to fly one up from Orlando, which seems like a careless place to keep it. But I guess they didn’t ask me to run the airline.

The moral is that I have a six hour delay and a supposed midnight departure – after getting burned several times, I’ve learned to trust Delta about as far as I can throw them. So how does one entertain oneself during this indefinite delay?

Glory in the free wifi and access to Netflix 

One good thing about being stuck in Logan – they have free WiFi. I also don’t know if I will be able to access Netflix in the motherland, so any opportunity to catch up on my important programming like documentaries about worldwide Things of Concern (i.e. Pretty Little Liars) is much appreciated.

Stand in a line for no good reason except that everyone else is doing it 

This will occupy at least a half an hour if not longer. Even if you know that it doesn’t really make sense for you to try to get a different flight, stand in line anyway. Then when you get to the front ask questions like: “Real talk. Is this flight ACTUALLY leaving at midnight?” Of course, they always say yes, but I think the real talk made them think twice.

Do yoga in the corner

You may feel silly doing it, but there’s a code of understanding with travelers in the airport past a certain point in the midst of a delay. I just had the person next to me offer me use of his computer charger, so I didn’t have to take mine out, without me even asking. It’s the code. You can be doing or wearing anything and everyone gets it. Do yoga in the corner. Go ahead and stretch out on the floor and take a nap. It’s fine. Survival of the fittest.

Write a pithy blog post 

See above.

Drink

Tried and true: get a glass of wine and accept that you are going to become Tom Hanks in The Terminal and just move in to the airport.

Postscript: No need to worry – I MADE IT, FOLKS. Everyone calm down. And extra bonus: because the flight was delayed and so many people switched, I got a row to myself and TWO HOURS OF SLEEP! Can you say score?

So rather than cats I’m gonna share with you something BOTH my parents felt the need to talk to me about/send me a picture of – they got an egg with a double yolk. Those crazy kids!!

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